content warning
heavy
sexual assault
gaslighting / manipulation
no specific details
long list of symptoms

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I was emotionally abused, severely gaslit / manipulated / groomed, isolated from support systems, and sexually assaulted in a relationship Fall 2024. In hindsight, it is more accurate to call the relationship one continuous sexual assault. Especially considering this person voiced their concern they were sexually assaulting me, and made it very clear more violence would occur if I brought it up.

I am intentionally using gender neutral pronouns (they, their, them, etc.) and referring to them as “this person” to not reveal anything about their identity. I know it likely my abuser will eventually read this. I still cross paths with them occasionally.

it took almost one year to the day to work through the harm i experienced – and i had so so so much more time / space / energy to work through these feelings than someone working full time or with children or with family or community or any other number of obligations

thursday fifteen may twothousandtwentyfive marked the first time i had a dream of them that was normal / pleasant instead of horrifying

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the spiders tried to warn me

i did not listen

i did not know how

“this person” did

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content warnings on every post for emotional safety