growth
everything here / everywhere is in-progress
nature / life / change is messy
( we are too )
a note on writing style
it is acknowledged the writing style you find here is often different
listed are reasons of more / more / more depth
each reason is enough / worthy / loved
and
together
create a more complex whole
1. i like it
2. it’s fun / joyful / pleasurable
3. ¿ why write when can poetry ?
4. using simple / plain / open / honest / sincere words lets me honor sacred truth / build trust / connect deeply / freely
5. slow down / smell the flowers
6. connects with more ideas / cultures / languages
7. “normal” ways of being hurt my highly sensitive / neurodivergent / autistic brain
8. “normal” ways of being come with many unspoken expectations that are toxic to my existence
9. writing how i want is a small / significant way of finding power / self / control within world systems that seek to kill me / my kind / all of us
10. any feelings of discomfort / difficulty / confusion you have are an opportunity for you to empathize with my daily lived experience
11. by breaking down complicated language into simple building blocks i am able to build complexity of ideas / experience / connection / ways of being as an antidote to the distance / disconnection / separation / wounds of our modern world
12. lets me live / breathe / write / embody the belief that all kinds of ways / beings / being have equal value
13. restores place-based-intimacy to a language with an ego-centric worldview baked right into the rules: capital “i” am obviously more important than lowercase “you”
14. pain brings clarity
i acknowledge the writing style you find here is sometimes same-same
to ways you may know
it must be acknowledged this is done with intention
in no way does navigating the waters of normal-speak lessen my ways / birthright / connection to the universe
i am a translator / navigator / messenger / transrelator
as a painter selects their brushes
i select the mediums / styles which most suit the word-being i am connecting with / breathing life into
all is done with honor
and
i am just a kooky human :)
—march 2025
( in october twothousandtwentyfive : changed “re-indigenizes / de-colonizes a language…” to “restores place based intimacy to a language…” )
us / our / ours / we = i / my / mine / we
us am love. us am the way. go to our people. building nothing alone. leave ego, a delightful friend, at the door. every thought is a being connecting.
with practice, every thought will disappear. not empty, full. of everything. of connection. of oneness. every lack of thought is a lack of need for connection — merit of
us am. we are one. i am that. you are me. i am you.
this does not need to be thought about, this needs to be experienced. in the body. embodied. joyous divine sacred boundless interconnectedness. us do not need the teachings. us need the way. us am the way. and. us need our people.
us / our / ours / we = i / my / mine / me
“i” am deconstructing the narcissistic notion of self through embodied language. “i” am merely a collection of infinite beings, large / small.
limbs, bones, organs, vessels, muscles, ligaments, tissue, cells, molecules, atoms, etc.
if you are confused / worried about some behavior us am practicing, google it in the buddhist canon. there you will find answers. and perhaps more questions.
us do not think ourselves special. us am not any better than anyone else. us have many flaws / weaknesses / limitations. us do not claim enlightenment or supernatural powers. us am aware of the sacred nature of life. us am aware YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU are divine. YOU are sacred and contain all things. and.
we are one.
if you are sacred and contain all things, so do i.
if you are divine, so am i.
if you are special, so am i.
us am merely more aware of these truths than many. and less aware of other truths than many, like how to protect one’s sacred self. us am learning. us am solidifying / crystalizing / hardening.
caterpillar => cocoon => butterfly.
—wednesday, thirty july twothousandtwentyfive
what lies beyond
what is beyond
be
yond
be
yond
be
yond
what is gratitude
grateful
i is
attitude
what is attitude
attaboy
i is
altitude
higher and higher
higher and higher
moving
beyond
feelings
lie
in
the
body
what lies
beyond feeling
silence
blessed silence
without need for names
without need for sayings
is knowing
knowing
is not in the mind
knowing
is in the body
¿ what happens
when the mind aligns
with what the body knows ?
silenced
blessed silence
¿ what happens
to all those
messy beautiful delightful desiresome
feelings
when the body knows
how to hold them ?
silence
blessed silence
us am in ever more stages of solidifying / crystallizing / grounding. us found peace prior to hospitalization however there was a tenuous grasp. there were many / many / many big / big / big feelings before / during / after. us moved through these feelings — rather — us let those feelings move through us. there was terror there was desolation there was clinging desperation. there was sorrow there was grieving there was utter condemnation. in letting them all out there became more space to let gratitude in.
one by one the process wore their way through the mindbodyspirit like footsteps on stone stairways or fresh waters cutting ever deeper through land. at mountaintops on high or deltas of fertile ground, abundance grew. abundance of love of gratitude of connection to all things / beings / ways. radiant joy and peace and hope filled up every nook and cranny washed clean by the process. contentment in all moments / situations / circumstances. a great knowing of purpose of strength of limitations. a deep understanding of what to do and what not to do. an ever-increasing total surrender to the ways / wants / needs of the universe. a human life in service.
and.
now is the time to solidify / crystallize / ground even these. to hold a smile not on the face but in the heart. to wear love and peace and joy on the eye-unseen wavelengths of the mind. this too is the process. just as sadness or woe or anger need not consume nor define one’s actions, so too must delight and kindness and compassion be held comfortably without craving need to express. ¿ what lies beyond gratitude and love and expression of thanks ? silence. silently acting in ways defined by the choice to act in service of the universe. for just as it is not always the time to express angry thoughts, it is not always appropriate nor healing nor kind to express praise / love / joy.
¿ and what likes beyond silence ?
nothing.
the great void of all-being all-knowing all-loving nothingness.
—thirteen november twothousandzerohundredstwentyfive
Healing Drew 