content warning
musings on death / mortality
fragility of body / mind / ego

intentions
be seen in suffering / insight / aliveness

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series
listening to death
5

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i am dying
how am i supposed to tell people humans this
with no visible evidence / diagnoses / proof
my body has told me in very clear terms
i believe my body

and

i know
us have a sensitive soul
a hermit crab without a shell
must stay quiet
does not advertise their mortality

to be asked questions
why
what is it
how’d this happen
how do you know
who have you seen
when did it start
where are you going for treatment

is to threaten fragile truth
if i don’t believe my truth
no on will
certainly not this body

and

then
it will fade / wither / die

this is the purpose / threat of inquisition
colonized humans do not know what they are doing
we do not know how to feel / resonate / validate / trust
we simply do as has been done to us
these humans care deeply
these humans are doing their best

and

they are killing us
as intended
by their own fragile selves
to see my naked shelless body
is to remind them
they have one too
hidden away

easier to pick me apart
to look for juicy morsels of fat / logic / reason

and

dismiss
leave the inedible / unsavory / indigestible bits behind
throw the rest out when full / satisfied

easier
to reach one’s own conclusion
and
dismiss mine

well
those bits / claws / antennae
were once me

and

the universe is not one of reason
they love us unconditionally

a fish gets eaten
by a fish
gets eaten
by a fish

is a fish good / bad
is one more worthy for eating
instead of eaten

there is no reason
for that fish
in particular
to get eaten

there is only one larger truth / reason
the universe loves
unconditionally

this is not reasonable
to cling to reason is to deny this truth
to defy this love
to die alone

i will not die alone
i just may not be in the company of humans
that is your choice

and

mine

—twentytwo may twothousandtwentyfive